we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize