How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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