Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
