I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
