Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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