So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she pinky promised me she was 18
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
