I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
