You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
