Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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