He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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