Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
