I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
