Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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