you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
