The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize