I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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