Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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