New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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