Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
be right there i have to get my cape
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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