I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
