So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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