garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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