16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
