I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize