the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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