Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
