Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize