She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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