sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
