I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
