i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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