I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
