I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
