used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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