I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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