wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
