Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
