Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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