butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
