Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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