Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
