Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
