That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
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I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
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Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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