Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm like, not good at living.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
