Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
