Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
