I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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