You're completely useless in the revolution.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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