clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
