so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
