well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
