was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just blew my weed a kiss
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
