She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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