We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
