Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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