he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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