and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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