And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
