dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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