Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
