I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
