At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
